In an attempt to satisfy my own neurosis, I am going to try something out. Subsequent, explanatory blog posts that are in sequence, addressing what was written prior.
- So, why do we continually do things that are not good for us?
- Why do we stay status-quo, when how we are living is not really lighting us up or fueling our passion-fire?
- Why have we given up in so many areas of life?
We look externally to plug up our holes, to find fulfillment or happiness. We spend so much time "waiting" for something to come, for "one day" to arrive, for something to "change." Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't... But anything that is found outside of us can only be temporarily satisfying at best.
We stay as-is out of fear; fear of failure, rejection, success, the unknown, feeling unworthy or believing conditioned thoughts that really don't serve us or our purpose here. Maybe we don't feel good enough, or don't believe we deserve more. Maybe we don't think it's possible, that there's not enough to go around, or we've been told we're just a "dreamer."
"Stay safe, Dreamer. Play small. Stay with what you know. Don't get too far ahead of yourself... it is NOT safe."
After careful observation, I have come to many conclusions and insights, and have a deeper level of understanding about myself. For years, I have fallen victim to my own circumstance. I always felt I didn't have "enough" - enough time, money, etc. Something was always in the way... it was just a small bug, not an epidemic, so I stayed status-quo, succumbing to my circumstances and waiting for things to change "one day." I felt that this was being patient. I called it all sorts of positive-sounding words. I believed it, though, and kept waiting... patient...patient...patient... (And, I'm not really that patient so this wasn't easy and consumed large quantities of energy to maintain).
In hindsight, after flailing and struggling my way through this "awareness" and "enlightenment" thing, it's become clear as day to me that there is only one thing I truly need in order to have joy, peace, love and fulfillment. There's just one set of requirements that trumps all else.
First, there is the understanding that I am not missing anything externally. I am not lacking anything that the external world can give me. And nothing the external world can give me will make me whole.
- Suddenly having free time and getting out of the house more often will not make me happy long-term.
- Going out and having fun will not make me whole.
- Buying things or consuming food or drinks will not light me up with passion and fire to fuel my days.
If I am not living my truth, self-expressing and living authentically, there is absolutely nothing that the external world can give me or that will come "one day" that will keep me happy and living fully. And, on the other side of the same coin, there is nothing else I need when I am living freely, exploring and expressing. I am content, playful, enthusiastic... I am whole and inspired and at peace. I can live Love, which is what we truly are.
There is absolutely nothing in this world that can replace our own self-expression. When we are betraying ourselves (living a lie, omitting, hiding who we are, giving up, settling, staying stuck, quieting our voice, not listening to our intuition, etc.) and not shining our unique light out on to this world, there is an emptiness inside us that keeps us wishing, wanting, waiting, plugging holes and playing small.
When we realign with our inner Truth, become aware of our inner guidance system and feelings and emotions, shift our focus and our perception off of lack and onto curiosity about who and all we are, life becomes fun, again. Exciting. Meaningful. Joyous. Fulfilling. Peaceful. The list goes on and on...
All we really need is to be connected to ourselves, to the source and essence of who we really are. To gently allow - and maybe even welcome - ourselves to be loving expressions of what makes us who we are. Embrace our individuality. Our imperfect perfection. Our divine design. Celebrate what makes you who you are. Live your truth. Speak your mind. Say no when you mean no. Say yes when you mean yes. Be boldly authentic. Fiercely passionate about what drives you and lights you up. Reconnect with the childlike wonder and presence you once knew so well. Invite your inner child to play... and to heal. Soften the walls around your heart, replace bitterness with gratitude, and enjoy the peace and stillness that can be found in each beautiful moment.
Move. Speak. Play. Work. The options are endless...
Incorporate things into your life, instead of feeling lack that you do not have time (money, resources, etc.) for them.
But whatever you do, do not wait for "one day" to come. Today is one day. And the only day that matters.
Love and light.