Wednesday, November 4, 2015

I've fallen in love... a lot.

I have fallen in love...a lot.  I'm getting pretty good at it.

And the greatest part is, I am about to do it, again.

The truth is, I fall in love all the time.  Maybe not everyday, but close to it (I am human, after all).  

Let me explain.

At first, many years ago, I thought that falling in love was reserved for some Knight-in-Shining-Armor fairy tale where the two main characters fall madly in love and live a blissful existence in the magical kindgom in the woods (I am so smirking right now).  Seeing as that isn't exactly how the story goes in real life, and realizing that I wasn't even really capable of that kind of love, I've had to shift my perception just a bit (or a lot).

Love is so much more than the fairytale we have in our heads, the one we grow up telling ourselves or seeking out in every corner of the earth. In fact, real love is so expansive, it cannot be dreamt up in a vision in our mind.  It's so much more than that. We could never imagine how big it is, bigger than us and our limited imaginations.  Our human cannot possibly contain it or grasp the concept of its fullness and aliveness.  

I surmise I got my first glimpse of unconditional love as an adult when my first daughter was born.  Ava Vera (Life and Truth).  I fell in love, again, when my second daugther was born.  Arya Vesta (Precious/Pure and Goddess of the Hearth and Home).  [I include the meaning of their names because it seems that as they were born into this world, I was to learn lessons relating to the meaning of their names.]  I now anticipate the arrival of my third little girl, Alessia Veda (Defender of Mankind, Knowledge/Widsom)...and falling in love all over, again.

With each baby, with each life chapter that opens and closes, then a new one begins, I learn great lessons.  Some I never could've imagined would "happen" to me. Some I didn't think I would emotionally survive (or physically). Some (most) I didn't feel ready or prepared for.  And I've had to let go of almost everything... my limited beliefs, my fears, my conditioning, my perceived identity.

From the new vantage point, I am able to fall in love and learn to trust a little deeper.  With life, with my soul, with my babies, family, friends and the man I am with.  Nature, animals, beautiful things.  Choices, chances and synchronicity.  Challenges, even...for the opportunities they bring with them.

And that's the thing about children... just their energetic presence is enough to bring on or inspire profound change in the lives around them.  And they're often birthed alongside some soul lessons for their parents.

My life looks far from that fairytale does.  In fact, if you were watching it from above, and my world was contained in a little snowglobe for your viewing pleasure, you'd probably say you cannot find any resemblance to that fairytale "picture" whatsoever.  But that's the beauty and irony of it... and the thing about really falling in love.

Love doesn't judge and it certainly isn't biased.  It can flow into every street corner, every crevice of existence.  It can light up any life, no matter how it looks.  It invites Grace in, Gratitude and a sense of fullness that cannot be found elsewhere.  Especially not in that "perfect" fairytale.  After all, that's just a story we chase after. An image.  An ideal or an idea.  A creation of the ego. The good stuff is real, tangible and right in front of us in each moment.  Instead of a well-defined picture (that brings with it disappointment when it isn't met exactly down to the colors and smells in the vision), there's room for the ebb and flow of life, including space for things to show up (and leave).  The focus is on appreciation of what is, instead of lack (what's missing from the picture).

I'm so ready to fall in love, again.  To discover and experience even more.  To expand.

“The core of the life wish is eternal Soul Love. Love does not seek reaction, cling to expectation, or fear disappointment. Love is not concerned with the ego’s understanding of physical reality. The true energy of Love confidently and unwaveringly burns away all sediment that clings to story while dropping us into the naked and raw hum of right now. The guidance of Love is direct and always married to Presence. It is not concerned with granting wants or wishes.” - Excerpt From “Meet Your Soul.” Elisa Romeo.

Bring it on, little peanut #3.

Milestones...or Memories?

I've observed a theme throughout life, as I reached adolescence and beyond.  It probably begins in our 20s, and I've observed it happen time and again to people in their 30s, 40s and 50s.  Though I have yet to personally hear of this experience from someone in their 60s or older, I am most positive it must occur to them, as well.

So what is this "pattern" exactly? It is... milestones.  As we approach any new chapter - in particular, birthdays - we naturally begin to reflect and take inventory of our lives.  Some people have a hard time turning a new age, like 30 or 40 or 50.  They allow their emotions to fall prey to the ego that tells them where they are versus where they "should" be.  It's the "Chasing Carrots" syndrome, the lack mentality.  We strive to reach a goal of some kind, a milestone, and we aren't happy until we "have" that goal met.  But when we meet that goal it soon gets old and comfortable and we reach for more. When we reflect on missed milestones (we are not where we think we should be, planned to be, wanted to be, society tells us we should be, so on and so forth) we are vibrating on the frequency of lack. A negative, lower energy plane.

Sure, sometimes we don't get what we "want" or thought we "needed."  Not even close.  Sometimes we miss the mark by what seems like an impossible to measure distance.  Sometimes we get close and fall just a tad short. Other times our road curves and takes us someplace we never imagined in our wildest dreams.  Sometimes we face tragedies that take us off course or stop our course.  Maybe we aren't a vibrational match for our desires, we are stuck in old patterns that don't serve us.

No matter what, even when we don't think we got what we "wanted," and we wish we were someone else, somewhere else, doing something else, the truth is we always get what we need on our journey.  Where we are is perfect, right now, and divinely inspired and guided.  I say, it's not the milestones that count but the memories.

We can change our path at any given moment or accept where we are and enjoy it. It is all up to us, it is all our choice.  There will be external variables that come up as part of our path and are out of our control.  That is life.  But we can control our experience, our attitude and our gratitude.  Ultimately, our joy.  

If we are living good lives, we feel good and happy and are sharing love, what else matters? Sure, we could be doing X, Y or Z, but we are doing A, B and C instead.  Embrace all that makes up your life. At the end of the long day, as the dark veil of night closes upon you and you reflect on your Earthly life, you will cherish the moments you were present, felt alive and lived in love.  You will not spend but a moment wishing you had attained more or gained superficiality.

So, you can spend your time wishing for something else, feeling bad and settling into the role of victim to life or you can spend that same time grateful for all the blessings you are surrounded by and taking full ownership of your experience here.  Either way, the time passes and all you have is right Now.  This moment.  It's your right and choice how to spend it and feel about it.

Your soul yearns for experience, grace and unconditional love.  Get out there and start living.  Toss out the "should've, could've, would've" milestones and start making some real memories.