The Magic inside...

I often question "life" - the ins, the outs, looking for some kind of a loop hole or secret door I may have missed. Some proof that "there's got to be more." Or less. Or something. 

Evidence that this is all for a reason.  That it's not what meets the eye on the surface. That what my heart believes is true and valid. Something to grasp onto that aligns with the feelings that so deeply move me to my core. Feelings that words just cannot express. 

Glimpses of a love so powerful, a bliss, that the human mind cannot fully understand it or label it. Freedom and openness that radiates like the brightest light. Warmth that wraps around like the most soft and snuggly blanket. Comfort, safety and inner peace and knowing. Inaction and satisfaction. Miracles and beauty that bring me to tears and teach me to be humble. Presence. 

I search - subconsciously mostly but some days consciously - for this tangible "Ah-ha, I knew it!" moment.  A reassurance of sorts. Maybe a measure of hope. 

Those moments, so rare and precious like the most stunning gemstone. I soak them in as much as I can before they slip through my fingers, disappearing into the abyss that is this earthly existence without any trace left behind. 

Perhaps I will never get the answers I am so desperately looking for. Maybe they're too simple for me to just "get it." Or maybe too complex.  Either way, the deeper side of me knows a world of magic and wonder. And I suppose it doesn't really matter if I find the proof I am looking for or not. It's alive inside of me.