Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Living Lack versus.....Living.

Previous Blog
Incorporate things into your life, instead of feeling lack that you do not have time (money, resources, etc.) for them.  

Common perception is that when we don't have something, there's a reason.  And we have a laundry list of reasons why we don't have that said something. Ultimately, our perception and mind-frame is rooted in lack

All those (countless) days that I was waiting for "one day" to come, I would envision my dream life in my mind's eye and it felt wonderful. I would be exhilarated, an so excited! But shortly thereafter, my excitement and bliss would turn to dread and helplessness and anger and sadness and a whole assortment of juicy emotions that all could be traced back to lack. 

What I want is not here now. 
I want it now. Why is it not here now? 
I can't have it now. 
Why can't I have it now? 
Why is this my life? 
Why am I here now? 
Why? Why? Why? 

While some of the questions helped me to reflect and modify what I was doing, most of it was fruitless, and kept me stuck in this rabid cycle of negativity. Which, in turn, would keep my external life showing up in much the same way, validating the fact that I was living in lack. Such is the Law of Attraction and vibration.

After becoming aware of my lack-mentality, it still took me a very long time to address it and shift it to a new, healthy perception and inspired action(s). Although we are often looking for ah-ha epiphany, sky-opening, water-parting moments of enlightenment (I sure am!), some times our processes are just gradual evolutions that very well may resemble grass growing

I kept receiving the message, "incorporate things into your life." 

At this point, I'd heard the message so many times... yet I still felt the sting of bitterness that my life was not what I wanted it to be. And I was finger-pointing why it wasn't what I wanted it to be.  Even so, I slowly began doing what I could, squeezing things I saw in my dream-life-vision into tiny pockets of time in my actual life. I would read in the bath while the water filled up, or while putting my girls to bed, or while waiting on line or on hold on the phone. I capitalized on every free 2 minute interval I could find. I began a meditation practice right before bed, even if it was just for 5 minutes. It wasn't much but it was something.
Then one day, as I mentioned in the previous blog, it hit me (this was brought on by slight nudges and then the more obvious face-slapping, signs I was receiving or passages I was reading): without a real connection to who I am, I will never be whole, happy, peaceful, or content... but with self-discovery, exploration and expression, there is nothing more that I need. This was definitely an ah-ha moment... though perhaps it wasn't of grandiose proportions (Score! I'll take it!).

The real reason my life felt so empty was not because I wasn't exercising, reading, drawing, painting, being creative or crafty, writing, going out, getting dressed up (cue the laundry list...and while this list of things "missing" didn't help the void, it was not the root cause of it).  It was because I had lost sight of who I was. I had stopped self-expressing. I had quieted my voice. And I began living a version of life that did not exemplify who I am and what I am about. 

Once we re-align with our true selves, any small moment we spend doing something is meaningful.  And if we can't do something, that's okay too. But those moments where we incorporate things into our life, feel amazing. And the more grateful we are, the more opportunities open up for us to incorporate even more great-feeling things in (or at least our eyes open to more ways we can). 

  • This blog is a living example. I wrote a book in 2015, and I have barely written since. I kept feeling the nudge, "you should be writing..." but always had a reason I couldn't write (too tired, not enough energy, writer's block, nothing to say, not enough time, etc.). It didn't take much for me to sit down and write yesterday and today. And it felt really good to be able to do it. And it's inspired me to continue on.  Sometimes we have to just Shut the F*&$ up with the excuses and just make time, even if it's 30 seconds. Half the battle is overcoming our mind-frame that says we can't. One of my favorite quotes is by Jim Rohn, "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse." So true. You just can't argue with that (well, you can, and you will if you're still playing the victim card, intentionally or not... but the heart of the matter is, it's dead-on). People find a way when they want something bad enough.
Living in lack, or perceiving our lives (or selves) as missing something, is a sure-fire way to keep it going and circling back around time and again. You can find yourself in a rut for years, if not decades. But, if we are just slightly open to the possibility that we can incorporate things into our lives, a whole new world opens up at out fingertips. 

Perception is powerful. 
Self-expression is vital.
And everything is figureoutable (Marie Forleo).

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