Though I have not pushed my daughter in any which way to strive to be "perfect," and in fact I have tried to tell her to relax a bit (with a lot of "who cares"), she tends to be a little perfectionist. I can't judge; when I had the time to tend to the details, I was one, too. Dot all your I's and cross all your T's.
Apparently, when I was a little girl I would get mad if there was one tiny bump in my pony tail. However, my mother always made sure my hair was perfect. So I must have picked this up from her. No one liked doing my hair because I always gave them a hard time and made them do it over.... many times. (arghhh)
When I do my eldest daughter's hair upon her request (the only one who has hair long enough to do anything to), I don't really pay attention to the bumps or loose, fly-away pieces. For starters, she has really curly hair! I've never promoted perfectionism and it's been an eternity since I cared about what my hair looked like (who was that person?). Now that I remember how I was, it's quite humorous... but she takes her hair out multiple times before the bus comes and makes me redo her hair. Sometimes she gives up on me, and does it herself. It's just never good enough. I'm certainly not good enough at it. And it has to be perfect! No bumps!
She goes on to tell me about so-and-so's hair and how it's just perfect and slick back... not one bump!! And I try to tell her that no one is perfect. And I highly doubt that so-and-so has perfect hair everyday. That would be near impossible. And who cares, anyway? It's just hair. You're 7 (OK, I admit in writing this, I realize that sounds sort of dismissive! I just try to get her to lighten up a bit).
She displays other behaviors that vividly illustrate her perfectionism in play (did I mention she's a Virgo?). And I wonder how she developed them when I haven't really promoted it or enabled it. The more kids I had and the older they get, the more I realize how some things are just so individual... it really has so much to do with personality.
Well, the other day something very funny happened. I never really think she's listening to me because she fidgets and changes the subject and acts very antsy when I try to have "talks" with her or teach her life lessons. So, imagine my surprise when she threw my advice back at me like a hot potato.
Me: We really have to change all your shirts before company comes.
Her: Why? It's fine...
Me: Yea, but there is dirt all over them from playing outside.
Her: So what mom? No one is perfect.
Me: (chuckle) You're right.
Her: You told me this. Now I'm teaching you a lesson.
Me: Oh, thank you... (laughs)
Her: Everyone's hair is messy sometimes.
Yes.... everyone's hair is messy sometimes.
And by hair... I mean hair...and life.
Thanks, little one. I am glad you were listening.... and I appreciate the reminder.